Oh, to shovel the drive way LOTR style
by Nayeli Gold
Summary: Chapter Four up! In which the hobbits attempt to go on strike but are thwarted and there is an awful lot of blinking and unison. R&R please!
1. Bother

*** Hey all! I wrote this while very cold and after. . . take a guess! Shoveling the driveway! With this in mind, please be kind! Oh, and as always, I love to get reviewed! ***  
  
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Chapter 1: Bother.  
  
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Lilac put on her gloves. She put on and tied up her boots. She zipped up her coat. She donned her Jayhawk hat. She braced herself for the cold. "Bother." She thought, shaking her head. "I so LOVE to shovel the driveway. . . Especially when it's still snowing outside. . . What can my mother be thinking!?!"  
  
A blast of cold wind whooshed inside the house as she opened the door. "Bother." She thought. "I so LOVE to shovel the driveway. . . Especially when it's so windy. . . What can my mother be thinking!?!" Picking up the shovel that had been left next to the door and was already halfway covered with snow (height wise of course) she thought "Bother." And slowly pulled the door shut after her, the wind whining the entire time. "Why did God have to make it snow on a Saturday!?! Whatever was He thinking!?!"  
  
Tucking her head down, Lilac meandered her way down to the end of the driveway. "Bother!" she thought. "Why did I have to move from Kansas to MICHIGAN!?! I've never dealt with such snow! What could my father have been thinking! 


	2. In Which the Hobbits Arive

*** Ohhhh. . . Chapter one was short. . . Oh well! Well, here starts chapter two! Oh, and because I actually remembered it, sadly, I don't own any of the Lord of the Rings stuff, however, I do own all that is mine. Hehe. Enjoy! ***  
  
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Chapter 2: In which the hobbits arrive.  
  
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"Bother. Bother, bother, bother." Lilac thought over and over. FWISH (shoveling sound), turn, throw. FWISH, turn, throw. FWISH, turn, throw. And so it went. . . for a little while. Lilac had just about done around one eighth of her driveway when all of a sudden there was a loud KAPUMP! behind her. "Oh bother." She thought. "I HATE it when lot's of snow falls from the roof. Whatever could the architect have been thinking!?!"  
  
Turning, she stopped in mind mental complaint. Lying in a pile upon one of Lilac's nicely done snow mounds, was four small hobbits. "Oh bother!" she said aloud this time. "You landed in a snow pile in the middle of winter, poorly dressed, and with NO shoes on. . . Whatever could you be thinking!?!"  
  
"Umm. . . Hi!" Merry greeted her. "My name's Merry."  
  
"I'm Pippin." Put in Pippin. "Do you have any food." Lilac gave Pippin a look, and then moved her eyes along to the next hobbit in line.  
  
"I'm Frodo." Frodo said, of course. He fingered the ring, but resisted the urge to put it on. For some reason, the pull of the ring was less in this Snow Goddess's realm.  
  
"Have at you Longshanks!" Yelled Sam. Lilac gave him a pitting look, yet her eye's also seemed to say 'Oh you poor, dumb soul'. Sam quickly composed himself with a prod from Frodo and said. "I'm sorry, my name's Sam."  
  
"Ah huh. . . So uhh. . . exactly where are you guys from?" Asked Lilac.  
  
"We, oh Snow Goddess, are from the Shire, located in Middle Earth. Are you familiar with that land?" Asked Frodo.  
  
"Umm. . . No. . . I'm not familiar with the Shire or. . . Middle Earth. You guys are weird. Oh, and I'm not a Snow Goddess. Name's Lilac." She threw out her hand.  
  
Unfortunately, Sam thought she was threatening him, and shouted again, "Have at you, Longshanks!"  
  
"I am not a Longshanks, whatever that is. My name is Lilac! I was just greeting you, that's all! No need to through a fit! Gesh! Can't a girl be polite these days?"  
  
Frodo, Merry, and Pippin grasped her still outstretched hand. "We're terribly sorry Snow Goddess-"  
  
"Lilac."  
  
"Yes, we're terribly sorry Snow Goddess-"  
  
"Lilac!"  
  
"Uh huh, we're terribly sorry Snow Goddess-"  
  
"AHHHH!!!!" Poor Lilac shouted. Oh alas for her! She had never heard of Lord of the Rings, how was she to cope with the hobbits now appearing while she attempted to shovel the driveway!?! "Bother! Why must you call my Snow Goddess when my NAME is Lilac!?! What can you be thinking!?!  
  
"We're sorry. . . Ma'am. . .for Sam. . . He's awful protective." The three hobbits managed out at last. Alas for them, they had never been to Michigan, had never seen the wrath of a fifteen year old girl who had been trapped inside all winter, and. . . had never experienced the utter determination of this particular girl, their Snow Goddess, Lilac.  
  
After a long pause, Lilac finally said, "Okay, follow me. I'm gonna get you some shovels. After that, we can have some hot chocolate." (This was followed by a burst of joyful sounds from all four hobbits, but lasted longest from Pippin.)  
  
"What are we to do Snow Godde- I mean, Lilac. . . Ma'am?" Asked Merry.  
  
Lilac turned to face him. "Bother!" She said. "You don't know what to do when I say I'm getting you some shovels, and there just HAPPENS to be snow all around?" Then, upon seeing the four hobbits shaking their heads, "Whatever can you be thinking!?!"  
  
"Well Longshanks, what are we gonna' be doin'? Asked Sam, unhappily.  
  
"My name is Lilac! And we will be shoveling the snow off my driveway, like I've done down there. See?" She said, exasperated, pointing down to the end of the driveway, which was nicely shoveled, if she did say so herself. (which she did.)  
  
"And then we get hot chocolate!" Piped Pippin.  
  
"Yes, and I must say, that is the whole reason WHY I shovel. My mom makes the best hot chocolate this side of the Huron River!" Already, Lilac was beginning to like Pippin. He thought like her. 


	3. Teaching the Hobbits to Shovel

*** Whoo hoo!!! On to chapter three!!! I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated. It was like in. . . February! Well, I'm trying to return to my old stories, so here I go! Thanks to hmsgirl for reviewing, even if you are WRONG about the wildcats. Thank you to Karategurl710 for talking me through the story waaaaay back in February during lunch and convincing me to write this. Hawkfeather, you're a great pal, and I'm glad you liked reading this so much! T.C. the Savage, I'm glad you reviewed for me! I hope you are liking this. See you when school starts up again. Brian, Dark Emotionless Shadow I'm glad you found this amusing. I hope you continue reading! Tidus4, I'm glad you like this story as well! Bulegristwen, I'm happy to have you reading as well! Please review! ***  
  
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Chapter Three: Teaching the Hobbits to Shovel  
  
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"Okay, you grab the stick end like this. See?" Lilac was holding her shovel in positively perfect form for the hobbits.  
  
Four wide-eyed munchkins stared at her hands, nodding slowly and copying her technique.  
  
"Like this?" Asked Merry.  
  
"Yes. That's perfect." Merry just about fell over with joy from being complemented by his Snow Goddess. . . err, Lilac.  
  
"How about me?" Asked a hopeful Pippin, after hearing the praise given to Merry.  
  
Lilac eyed him over, eye's peering at EXACTLY how he held the shovel. She furrowed her brow and glared at him. Pippin's eyes grew wide with fright but flew open even wider when she suddenly grinned and hugged him shrieking, "That's beautiful!"  
  
Merry frowned at being shown up, and Frodo donned the official 'What's going on?' frightened face. Sam on the other hand, behaved a little differently.  
  
"Get off him Longshanks!!" He yelled, raising his shovel in a defensive maneuver.  
  
"Sam!!!" Yelled Lilac, jumping out of the hug quickly. (Much to Pippin's displeasure.)  
  
"What!?!" He yelled at her, slightly taken aback. He had forgotten that Lilac was almost 5'10 and therefore QUITE a bit bigger than he.  
  
"That is a perfect fighting stance!! Wherever did you learn that?" The hobbits all stood dead still for a moment.  
  
"Um. . . This guy named Boromir taught us. . ." Trailed Frodo, wondering why on earth Lilac would care.  
  
"He must be a martial arts master!" She said, awe in her voice and a far away look in her eyes.  
  
Sam came out of his confused silence and walked up to Lilac. "Um. . . Lilac. Are you okay?" He asked, poking her.  
  
"What? Oh, yeah! I'm fine! I just love Karate and stuff." The hobbits became confused again, but only thought that she was sharing more of her Snow Goddess wisdom, and so vowed to remember her words forever.  
  
Lilac blinked a few times, then shouted "Okay you munchkins! On to shoveling!!"  
  
And so they did.  
  
*** Please review for me!! Thank you so much!!! *** 


	4. Unison

*** Wow!!! Onto Chapter Four!!!  What Joy!! Personal thanks are at the bottom now! ***

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Chapter Four: Unison

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Lilac and the four hobbits dutifully worked for a long and hard amount of time…okay, more like three minutes.  BUT ANYWAY!

"My hands are cold." Complained Pippin.

"Mine too." Agreed Merry.

"Same here." Said Frodo.

"I say we go on strike." Put in Sam.

Lilac turned and blinked in shock.  "YOU know how to go on strike?"  All four hobbits nodded.  In unison.  "Why?!?"

"Because." They said.  In unison.

Lilac began to get scared.  "But you can't!!!"

"But we can." They said…in unison…then they blinked…in unison.

"But…but…that'll leave me out here alone!!!"  Lilac began to get tears in her eyes.  "And you wouldn't want to do that to me would you?"  

No response from the hobbits.

"OH BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"  Lilac's brown eyes became red and her words had a devilish tilt to them.

The hobbits shrank back into a snow bank…in unison.  "No master…Snow Goddess…Ma'am."

Lilac seemed to return from her devilish mutation and become the wondrous Snow Goddess.  She said sweetly,  "Now then, why don't you four be dears and pick up you shovels and get moving again!  We've got hot chocolate waiting inside!!!"

"Oh yum!!!"  Said Pippin.

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*** Okay!! I'm done!  Wow that was short.  Oh well  Please review!  I'll love you forever, really I will.  And if that's not enough, if you review me, chances are, I'll review you and you know we all love that!!! ***

Thanks to:

**~~Karategurl~~** Thank you for reviewing!  See you in school!

**~~Orlandoluv&Larky~~** I'm glad you found this so funny.  THAT IS THE POINT!  *grin*

**~~Saikono~~** Cool name.  Thanks for reviewing me so many times!  Much joy in my life!

**~~LadyAGJK~~** Thank you for reviewing!  I also could have sworn that you reviewed…hmm…oh well!!!  Good luck with the snowless winter!

**~~Window Girl~~ **Thank you for the extremely nice review! I'm glad to find that you like it and find it hilarious.


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